Life is hard. Remember to live it well

People who have talked to me long enough will note that I often say “life is hard”. It is. It’ll deliver the best and worst news in every unexpected way you can imagine, and then some more. It doesn’t wait for you to prepare yourself, and it doesn’t hold back to make things easier either. Things will happen that are out of your control, and it’ll remind you that you can’t do shit to change those things.

Life is also hard when making things. Even the simplest and quickest blog post might have had an enormous amount of effort put into it, but we read it in 2 minutes and assume only as much effort was put into writing it. Everything takes a lot of effort: products, text messages, that get-together with friends, books, design, planning, software, movies, tv series, everything. Even someone who wrote a 2-line message on Discord asking for help with a problem they’re having - it could’ve taken them hours to think about how to ask for help and reduce their 2-paragraph message into 2 lines.

It is important to appreciate all of this. Even if it seems like a small thing, even if it’s not up to your standards, even if you don’t like it, take the time to appreciate the effort that other people put into what they do. Make that known if you want. You never know what the other person is going through, and your gesture of appreciation might’ve been enough to motivate them. You never know when or if that person will be out of your life, or just gone forever.

Most of all, respect the effort. Believe them when they say it was hard, because life is hard for everyone in different ways. What looks easy for you might be the hardest thing for someone else. Our society is built on this principle, among others.

Sometimes we stop paying attention because we figured out a path to follow and just go along, focused entirely on what’s at the end of it. It takes effort to stop and appreciate where you are, who you’re with, and just enjoy the little things. I don’t do that well, but then life shows up with its reminders that I should be doing this more. Remember to appreciate that effort too, because it is still effort.

And remember to live life well. It is hard, and it could change or end so unexpectedly. Minimise your regrets ahead of time, dedicate your time to things you truly believe in. Respect yourself and take the time to understand your mind and your body. Understand why you think the things you do, and that will help you figure out when you’re doing things you don’t really believe in, and it will also help you improve your beliefs when you find something more true to your self.

PS: I wrote this after going through one of the worst events I could’ve gone through at this point in my life. I am ok, not in danger, just terribly empty. I wrote this post as an attempt to heal, but decided to make it more generic so it could be useful for other people as well.